Weirdness

My father no longer lives with me.
It's a difficult thing for me to grasp.
But, hey, that's how life rolls.

I realized today that the reason that I don't get the grades is because I have no short-term motivation, nor can my family afford to give me any, really. So it pretty much sucks. But I've decided that I will try harder in school, so that I can give my mom and dad money when they need it, and so my kids will be able to go to college without so much hassle. It just bites that I have to be coming into my prime right as a gargantuan financial crisis hits.
Boohoo.

I started listening to more ska recently.
And I "got" Panic!'s two albums.
The first one is way better.
I think that I want to do stuff with music, like maybe produce somebody's album or something. Not for profession or anything, but just for fun, and so I could feel important.
That would be fun.

Something really sad that I was talking to my dad about the other day was when he brought up the topic of his dream job.
He would've loved to be a music producer, and I really wish he got to do that.
But things just didn't go that way for him.
So he didn't get to accomplish his dream.
I really hope that that doesn't happen to me.
I want to do what I want to do.
I know that sounds redundant, but I really hope I'll be able to not regret my decision for a career.
I want to do something ambitious.
I just noticed the other day how un-ambitious my dad's job is.
He works for the government, and hasn't been legitimately promoted in a while.
I want to do something with lots of opportunity.
But whatever, nobody really reads this anyway.


"Who could love me, I am out of my mind..."